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Lies in a relationship are not good. It never ends well. So she did wrong by lying.
Now let’s ask Mr Kolapo, is he a virgin himself? If he is not a virgin and insists on marrying one, he’s a hypocrite. If he is a virgin, he should ask himself why marrying a virgin matters so much to him. Is it to assuage his ego or what?
And lastly,as a true Christian, I believe in only sex in a marriage. Not outside marriage. Sex beclouds and completely distorts a relationship. If a relationship doesn’t work, part amicably, but couples who indulge in sex often hang on to a dead relationship because of the sex complication.
Mr Kolapo, should discuss with his wife and find out why she lied. Their marriage can still be salvaged.Thoughtful Comments: 10. 10 (interesting)
Thank you for this post!
We should not keep up with the Jones, Ades, Obis or Mohammeds. No one is your mate in life. You are your own mate. If we realise this, we would be happier and lead less stressful lives.
Someone commented up about not being angry if someone shows up at my wedding in T-shirt and Jeans. I don’t care! As long as your jeans and T-shirt is clean, wear whatever you can afford to a wedding. Who says people must do aso-ebi? Or have a fully decorated hall? Who says? If I can afford only the marriage certificate at the registry so be it. It won’t determine the success or failure of the wedding. If you have money and want to splurge, please do, if you don’t have, please don’t go borrowing to impress people like the carpenter above. No!
Whether you have plenty money or no money, never compare or strive to keep up with anyone. Buy what you can afford and don’t sweat if you can’t.
People need to know that happiness does not result from showing off or throwing lavish parties, that fleeting moment of pleasure is not happiness. Happiness is being satisfied .Thoughtful Comments: 20. 20 (insightful)
People are different. Some people enjoy phone calls, others prefer texting or chatting, while others may like actual physical visits and yet still are people who like none of these. Friendship like most healthy relationships are a two way thing. You obviously do not like phone calls and your friend does, so naturally the friend calls more. With time your friend would feel like they are the one making all the effort, so the complaints starts. Instead of saying ‘well, this is me, I can’t change me’. Why not meet halfway? You can’t call several times a day, everyday or even once a week, but can you at least make the effort to initiate an occasional phone call? That’s compromise.
I am not big on phone calls, prefer chats, emails etc but I have friends who love to talk on the phone. So I made an effort to improve (had to put reminders on my phone on when to call) because I love them and it would make them happy, that way one friend won’t feel like they are the ones pulling all the weight in the friendship.
Try it, it might work and keep everyone happy 🙂Thoughtful Comments: 20. 20 (insightful)
I’m new here and this is my first contribution or posts here.
About No job, no sex. I’m thinking about why the woman is saying ‘no job, no sex ‘to her husband. Is her husband able to work and deliberately refusing to or she thinks his job search is not diligent enough? I strongly doubt if she’s refusing him sex SOLELY because he can’t get a job. Theirs sound like a relationship that has broken down in other ways, if they are both honest. Their are other underlying issues in their marriage that may have caused that level of resentment. We all go through rough patches in life, and job losses happen. No matter how good you are, you could lose your job at anytime. So, if a spouse is going through this rough patch and the other spouse who’s supposed to be loving and supportive is saying ‘no job, no sex’. Then there’s a problem in their relationship that perhaps is exposed now with the job loss.
My advice? Talk to each other honestly, and then listen. Really listen. Except the woman wants to use the opportunity as an excuse to ditch the marriage (which may have been on her mind before) then the marriage can still be salvaged and everyone happy.Thoughtful Comments: 10. 10 (insightful)