Who calls who?

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by  Aezolase 8 months ago.

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  • #5130

    flexmind
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 50

    Someone accused me of this the other day. She said that I had become too comfortable in our friendship, and I didn’t even call her, but instead, she was doing all the calling. Because of this, she was going to severely limit her calls to me.

    I thought – why is this an issue? You call; we talk; we laugh; we hang up. Does it matter whether you call me or I call you?

    Of course, so that peace would reign, I promised to do a better job, although I don’t know if I can; I am just not the kind of person who burns up the airwaves making calls.

    Am I a bad person for not initiating calls, then?

    Thoughtful Comments: 10.  10 (interesting)
  • #5160

    stabiliti
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 90

    Fleximind, you are not a bad person, but what you sow, you shall reap. Don’t be surprised if you don’t get any more calls.

    Thoughtful Comments: 20.  20 (insightful)
  • #5189

    Brownsugar6
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 60

    People are different. Some people enjoy phone calls, others prefer texting or chatting, while others may like actual physical visits and yet still are people who like none of these. Friendship like most healthy relationships are a two way thing. You obviously do not like phone calls and your friend does, so naturally the friend calls more. With time your friend would feel like they are the one making all the effort, so the complaints starts. Instead of saying ‘well, this is me, I can’t change me’. Why not meet halfway? You can’t call several times a day, everyday or even once a week, but can you at least make the effort to initiate an occasional phone call? That’s compromise.

    I am not big on phone calls, prefer chats, emails etc but I have friends who love to talk on the phone. So I made an effort to improve (had to put reminders on my phone on when to call) because I love them and it would make them happy, that way one friend won’t feel like they are the ones pulling all the weight in the friendship.

    Try it, it might work and keep everyone happy 🙂

    Thoughtful Comments: 20.  20 (insightful)
  • #5208

    Eunice
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 20

    No…that doesn’t make you a bad person. But your friend feels like she’s in a one-sided friendship (trust me, I’ve been there, the feeling is not a good one)….You call friends, they don’t call back makes you feel like you are doing all the work. Your friend was sincere enough to tell you, try improve. Even if you’re not a phone call type, try harder because of your friend. I hate chatting on Facebook, but there are friends I try make exceptions for, because Facebook is their thing. Got it?

    Thoughtful Comments: 10.  10 (interesting)
  • #5214

    Otunba
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 10

    in this situation, just like one yoruba adage that says ‘either to wrap ur bottom with cloth or to wrap your cloth with bottom, just make sure that ur bottom is not naked’ anyone can make the call, what matter is ur conversation/relationship

    Thoughtful Comments: 0.
  • #5221

    Femi Onileagbon
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 3755

    It’s called a relationship, meaning it’s a partnership. Even the dormant partner contributes a significant portion. If you are financially unable to call her everyday, then text her. Social bundles for WhatsApp and Facebook make your task easier. And yes, there is data free Facebook. I think she’s hurt because she knows you can afford to call everyday but you can’t just be bothered. Your comments lend truth to her conclusion. My conclusion? You don’t love her and won’t miss her when she leaves (so you think) but wait till leaves you and you fall in love with a girl who can’t be bothered to call you even when you send recharge cards to her.

    Karma isn’t a pleasant fellow, my friend. Get off your seat and do right by that girl who obviously loves you.

    Thoughtful Comments: 10.  10 (interesting)
  • #8376

    talklessthinkmore
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 1180

    We all run with different stopwatches and some are more busy than others. Some are just not the calling type. Some are texters.

    Some conversations are just not exciting, so what does one do in such situations? Could it be that part of your brain (which scientists haven’t discovered but which we shall call the nocallafriendscopy gland, which is hidden deep in your brain that releases juices making uninterested in calling her even?

    It appears it’s not intentional and there’s just not enough incentive to punch those numbers. On social media, some people are masters of Happy New Month, Happy New Week, Happy Sunday, Happy 3.35pm. Na wetin sef! They greet more than my Yoruba friends 🙂

    I doubt the frequency of phone calls you both make should define your relationships and hopefully no one is keeping tabs of who made more calls. However, good that you’ve improved your call rates. Hope she’s happier now?

    Thoughtful Comments: 10.  10 (interesting)
  • #8606

    mayjovey
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 2600

    @flexmind of a truth I don’t really see any Biggie in a Lady doing the calling.

    I call my family members, friends and my lover.

    Most times I ask people to hang up. So I can do the calling..

    It is not like I have all the monies to make calls, I just feel comfortable doing the calling.

    It doesn’t really matter who calls.

    Some people (male/female) just like the “Entitlement mentality”.

    Thoughtful Comments: 0.
  • #8612

    Aezolase
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 2580

    People are different, her frequently calling without him having to reciprocate will certainly ring a negative bell. She would feel like “does he even care”, “why am I alone in this” and stuffs like that

    And when she begins to think that way, she becomes disturbed and worried.

    Now the question is, do you like her calling always, or you don’t?

    If you do, then up your game. Treat her the way you want to be treated.

     

    Thoughtful Comments: 10.  10 (interesting)

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