SMOOTH COURTCHIP, ROUGH MARRIAGE

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  mayjovey 6 days, 8 hours ago.

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  • #9796

    Adebulu
    Participant

    I have come to discover that in most marriages in my area, the couple’s relationship is not as smooth as when they were in courtship.

    This has been bothering me for sometimes now because sooner or later I am going to walk someone to the alter. So I got to ask WHY DOES COURTSHIP LOOKS SMOOTH AND EVERYTHING GO UPSIDE DOWN MOMENT AFTER THE MARRIAGE?

    Could it be that these couples did not get to know themselves very well before they kick off the marriage?

    Or was the courtship not long enough?if yes, for how many years do you think intending couple should undergo courtship?

    Or were the couple pretending like everything is going fine, kick off the marriage then everything begin to surface?

    Contributions Needed!

    Thoughtful Comments: 10.  10 (interesting)
  • #9805

    Samson
    Participant

    My brother, the story is the same in my area too oh.
    It’s either the wife ran away with/without the kids or the husband left or the compound is a war zone with so much domestic violence…even my own family is one of the aforementioned.

    One day I asked my mum what could have ever resulted into such scenario but her shrug showed that even as a firsthand victim, she was still as confused as I am.

    Over time I came to this conclusion of some sort how such negative turnaround could have been caused, unconsciously of course.

    Marrying for the wrong reason.
    No doubt,there are reason(s) for every and anything so have a reason to marry is not bad but limiting oneself to that particular reason is exhausting.
    For instance, some marry to just give birth. Now what happens after having those children is a decline in the zeal once had before that accomplishment.

    Solution is to let each accomplishment lead to another.
    Okay you’ve had those desired kids, don’t feel too comfortable rather let strengthen the bond with your partner as you both put heads together and how to raise those kids to better individuals than their parent.

    Thoughtful Comments: 10.  10 (interesting)
  • #9814

    Aezolase
    Participant

    When you want something, you make all efforts to achieve that, you tend to act on your best behaviors, and things like that. But you become reluctant after having it. That is applicable to courtship and marriage

    Thoughtful Comments: 0.
  • #9865

    mayjovey
    Participant

    In everything we do,  motive precedes action.

    That being said.

    Courtship and Marriage are two distinct thing entirely.

    Courtship you get to stay away from each other while in marriage,  you wake up every morning next to this person…

    Like, love is not always new every morning (talking literally)

    There are other days you both won’t just feel it.

    In courtship you can choose to stay away for sometime till you guys cool off…

    In marriage, you are stuck.

    Marriage is the real deal…

    Courtship is like a mirage sometimes.

    People can fake it till they say “I do”

    It takes a great level of maturity to weather the storm when it comes in Marriage, off course,  together.

    Thoughtful Comments: 10.  10 (interesting)

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