Sex in relationship

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  Aezolase 8 months ago.

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  • #5202

    Otunba
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 10

    mr. kolapo has been in relationship for the past 5yrs with his beautiful queen but there is nothing like sex between them, they both agree to wait till their wedding night because the lady claim to be a virgin but unfortunately the man find out that his beautiful wife was not a virgin last night after their wedding. if u’re the man in this position, what will u do or do you agree with sex in relationship ? your opinions are welcome

    Thoughtful Comments: 0.
  • #5206

    Eunice
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 20

    Hmmm….Sex in relationship is actually a controversial topic. Many are in support of it because they fear deceit which happens to be the case in the story above while others don’t believe in doing the ‘do’ so as to know what to really expect.. Well, for me, am quite the ‘old school’. No sex till marriage, apart from the fact that I feel am worth the wait….I won’t be able to look him in the eye if I’ve had sex with him and we didn’t end of together…The lady in question was totally wrong, she could have told the guy she isn’t ready yet, instead of pretending to be what she’s not. She has received the guy into marriage and we all know nothing built on deceit lasts long…

    Thoughtful Comments: 10.  10 (interesting)
  • #5215

    Otunba
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 10

    @eunice, do u beleive that this issue of sex till wedding night has destroyed many relationship.
    And to have a guy that can be so patient till that time is very rare but i tink ladies have a lot of role to play on it

    Thoughtful Comments: 0.
  • #5219

    Brownsugar6
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 60

    Lies in a relationship are not good. It never ends well. So she did wrong by lying.

    Now let’s ask Mr Kolapo, is he a virgin himself? If he is not a virgin and insists on marrying one, he’s a hypocrite. If he is a virgin, he should ask himself why marrying a virgin matters so much to him. Is it to assuage his ego or what?

    And lastly,as a true Christian, I believe in only sex in a marriage. Not outside marriage. Sex beclouds and completely distorts a relationship. If a relationship doesn’t work, part amicably, but couples who indulge in sex often hang on to a dead relationship because of the sex complication.

    Mr Kolapo, should discuss with his wife and find out why she lied. Their marriage can still be salvaged.

    Thoughtful Comments: 10.  10 (interesting)
  • #5222

    Femi Onileagbon
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 3755

    I had gone two years with a lady on the agreement that there would be no sex before marriage when my niece revealed that my fiancee was seeing another man. I confronted her and she confessed that she started dating the guy after he forcefully took her on one of her ‘innocent visits’ to help him cook (as a friend). Like Sidi of The Lion and the Jewel, she had to continue with the person who had taken her virginity and was looking for the best way to tell me! Mind you I agreed to no sex before marriage not because of any religious teaching but because I had the notion that it strengthened relationships. I still do but will put no faith in any such agreement again.

    I am no more a virgin so I won’t expect to have a virgin as a wife. As for sex before marriage, I’m all for it (and do have about a dozen condoms in my travel bags and at home).

    And before you all scream, I don’t date two women at a time. It’s not worth the trouble.

    Thoughtful Comments: 0.
  • #5231

    Posh
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points:

    If one cannot stick to the agreement of “no sex in relationship”, it’s best the person opens up to his or her partner. The man found out because  “his queen” isn’t a virgin. That lady would have forgiven him if he was in her position because naturally Men expect Women to forgive what men cannot forgive. He should stick to his wife and be prepared to face bigger problems than this because marriage is for better or worse.

    Thoughtful Comments: 0.
  • #8383

    talklessthinkmore
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 1180

    Chai! He should asks for a refund quickly? Does he know what the return policy is? 🙂

    Now seriously speaking, if the lady had confessed to being otherwise then that’s an issue.

    However, certain circumstances would make a virgin lady appear not to be a virgin on her first encounter with a man, for example ladies who are athletic (participating in competitive sports).

    I would be worried about the marriage if the facts are true. The marriage has began on falsehood and trust is  tricky; once breached, it’s almost like broken egg, very hard to bring back to ab initio state. Based on the lady’s story can one know how to advise the man further but for now I’d advise the man to just take some time away from everyone, go to a venting house and scream out loud and cool his head.

    It may be she has a good and reasonable reason for not disclosing the fact to him that could make her innocent in his eyes, “small” 🙂

    Thoughtful Comments: 10.  10 (interesting)
  • #8592

    mayjovey
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 2600

    If there is anything I don’t like in a relationship it is “Dishonesty”

    A Lady and a man agrees to stay without sex in their relationship and all of a sudden the one party findsom out the other has been cheating on them…

    It is painful…

    There’s every certainty that the guilty party will continue like that if they proceed.

    I’ll end the relationship immediately.

    Thoughtful Comments: 0.
  • #8596

    Aezolase
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 2580

    You are not a Virgin but you are telling me there should be no sex before marriage, what do you wanna protect?

    OK fine, let’s assume I agree to that, can you keep that agreement as well? Or the agreement is just centered on our relationship?

    If you gonna be honest and keep the agreement, I am going to try my best to keep mine as well

    But you mess around with others, and when it comes to me, you want a companion shey? God punish you!

    I don’t care how many sex you have had, that’s your past

    If I love you, I will love you

    And when  it comes to sex, let it be just me. Let the old ones pass.

    But you had sex and you wanna be a sudden good girl on me, no way

    And for that lady that claimed she was a Virgin and has been messing around, only for me to find out, we are just breaking up.

    As simple as that. No two ways about that

    I won’t just be a shepherd for someone

    I’m not a Virgin, and I don’t need a Virgin

    But if you come to me as a Virgin and tell me sex should be after marriage, I will wait

    But I just hope that’s true

    • This reply was modified 8 months ago by  Aezolase.
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