June 22, 2018 at 2:29 pm #11297
There is this philosophy about living with others that some people neglect or are ignorant of, which is CONTRIBUTION.
This factor always constitute the bulk of many disputes in homes, hostels and camps.
If there is one thing human detest the most about someone else, it is selfishness.
In any form of living together, from sleepovers to marital, we should understand the concept of cohabiting…that it is not just sharing a roof but also sharing responsibilities.
No matter the hierarchical position whatsoever of that person to fellow house/roommmate(s), courtesy demands you ease the other(s) of some responsibilities by taking it upon yourself even without been told to.
That way, you become more helpful and less of a burden which will always gladden the host or partner and reduce agitations from pent up aggressions.
Pick up a broom and sweep that room, dress the bed you woke up on, joining money for cooking or just buy water for everyone, take out the trash, etc. irrespective of who or what you are.
Don’t be a parasite to your host or partner, instead be a helpmate or symbiont.Thoughtful Comments: 10. 10 (interesting)
June 22, 2018 at 7:27 pm #11298
CHIJANNParticipantFiltered Thoughts Points: 3310
@samson I have seen people who have the interest at heart to give/contribute to the welfare of ‘joint living’ but cannot, not because they are selfish but because they don’t have.
So before entering into dispute with anybody you are co-habiting with, try to find out why he/she is not contributing. Is he/she not contributing as a case of ‘Selfishness’ or as a case of ‘Don’t have’
In the case of helping out in home keeping, instead it will be causing disputes, you make a duty roaster so that each person will know when it is his/her turn to do this work or that work.Thoughtful Comments: 0.
June 22, 2018 at 9:51 pm #11300
The two options of either domestic or financial help are meant to at least be chosen from if not both combined at once.
For example, I’m still a jobless undergraduate back at home therefore I’m handicapped to make financial contributions but not incapable of compensating with domestics.
I don’t drop money for food but I do the dishes as if I was getting paid for it just so that I could be contributing my own quota to the collective effort.
And just as nothing stops a domestic contributor from involving financially, nothing should also prevent a financial contributor from doing some of the chores and this is where most fathers or breadwinners get it wrong.
No matter how bad it is for one at the moment, if they can’t help one way, they can always help some other way.
And also a sense of responsibility won’t allow one to drag this issue till it gets to making roasters and timetable because once it comes to this then it seem more coarsed and less credible.Thoughtful Comments: 0.
June 23, 2018 at 4:21 pm #11311
ChinasaParticipantFiltered Thoughts Points: 1320
I don’t think that the excuse of “I don’t have” should be enough reason. If you are jobless, then who do you expect to feed you? Is the other person making enough money to feed themselves first before they start thinking of you? If you are jobless, get up, look for a job, volunteer somewhere for something, train until you are skilled enough then start getting paid somehow. Don’t just sit in the house and tell me “I don’t have”. That is not enough. And don’t blame your joblessness on Buhari.
I also think everyone should try to contribute domestically whether you are working or not.
The truth however, is that whoever wants to find fault with you will do even if you do all the right things. Infact, they hate you even more when you try to do right. You can never please human being, especially if you are scotting (living under their roof. I’m not sure I got the spelling right.)Thoughtful Comments: 0.
June 23, 2018 at 10:29 pm #11319
Not so sure but I think the right spelling is squatting and the philosophy of them still hating you even after doing the right contributions come from the fact that humans eventually get weary of each other especially when collective activities are strict routines.
This problem is what turns most relationships sour especially marriages.
After wedding, it is usually eat, work and sex with nothing to spice things up occasionally which results to a gradual decrease in appreciation due to repetition according to law of diminishing returns.
Same goes for squatting.
The idea is not to stay for too long and according to the word, it means never feeling too comfortable after all it is squatting not sitting or lying down.
And during your stay, accept some responsibilities and initiate some activities that would be memorable to the host and remember, the idea is not to stay too long nor feel too comfortable.Thoughtful Comments: 0.
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