Correct With Love

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Chinasa 3 months ago.

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  • #9768

    Samson
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 4700

    I witnessed this experience yesterday where I overheard a lady making some angry murmurs to the blank and I came to find out that a young girl probably half her age had unintentionally displayed some bad manners to her.

    The girl had skipped the courtesy of greeting first before make an inquiry from the angry lady who shunned her to a scorn.

    At first I sided the victim of such ill manners but on a “filtered thought” I imagine the mindset of the scorned young girl.

    Of a truth, she was wrong to have not exchanged pleasantries and needed to be corrected but the harshness of that correction will rather induce instant hatred than a repentant heart.

    It would have been more effective if the correction was in a low tone on a blank face, with a mild language that appeals more than it appalls.
    That way, the offender will be emotionally persuaded to really have a change of heart for the better.

    Nobody like being treated like shit especially for mere mistakes.

    Thoughtful Comments: 10.  10 (interesting)
  • #9787

    mayjovey
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 2600

    Funny enough, people are quick to see the wrongs of others…

    If only we can allow our mild side every time we go out…

    People transfer aggression at any given opportunity…

    Hatred easily outshines love at such times.

    Thoughtful Comments: 0.
  • #9853

    Aezolase
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 2570

    When I was serving in Kaduna, I punished a student for not copying notes. That student got mad at me, it was so obvious that he doesn’t even great me outside school.

    I was passing by sometime when I heard the boy asking for a pen, I called him and gave it to him. He collected and used it. When he was done, he brought it back to me at the staff room and I asked him to hold it. It wasn’t long before he started apologizing for his actions towards me because I punished him for not copying notes. I was filled with emotions, I thought to myself….. Was it because I gave him a pen? But then, I realized he was actually caught up with the love I showed to him despite his attitude towards me. There and then, we became friends. I’m done serving and no longer in Kaduna state, but the boy calls me till date to greet me.

    That’s the power of love

    • This reply was modified 3 months, 1 week ago by  Aezolase.
    Thoughtful Comments: 10.  10 (helpful)
  • #9886

    Samson
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 4700

    Nice one @aezolase

    It has been proven that the best way to change someone is to influence and not command.

    And the best way to influence a change in someone is to be nice to them.

    Thoughtful Comments: 0.
  • #9891

    Chinasa
    Participant
    Filtered Thoughts Points: 1320

    Using only hostility isn’t really the right way to enforce change. Even when the person(s) do change it would be because they were forced which would make them resent you. Change is usually enforced words and examples to defend that word.
    If the lady in question had greeted the girl first (after the girl spoke to her) then answered her, I believe that the girl would have learnt more than just been shouted at, because she would have felt quite stupid for allowing an elderly woman greet her first (that is if she had the proper training). It’s possible the girl in question greets people on a good day but was so concentrated on the information she wanted to get that she forgot to say good morning; this happens sometimes.
    However, you cannot remove hostility from discipline as it is sometimes necessary to get the other person to see just how serious you are about the situation. If you are always so mild in your corrections, they may see you as one that could be taken for granted. So, yes, hostility is necessary sometimes. At least, the girl in question would always remember that incident for a long time. She would know to greet people especially when she’s the one in need of their information and most especially if she the person is an elder.

    Thoughtful Comments: 10.  10 (interesting)

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